New Meaning
by oreshichigo
Summary: A great tragedy has struck and Eren can't take it anymore. Warning: suicide


Based on a prompt provided by . com, this is the first one I have written. Be aware that this story includes suicide, implied character death, brief alcohol references and copious amounts of character crying. Because of this (and Levi's occasional swearing), it has been rated as M.

* * *

Eren stands atop the parapet, peering down into the courtyard below. Though usually busy with soldiers conducting their duties, today the courtyard is empty. Those remaining of the Corps all quietly mourning in their quarters or sleeping off the contents of the mugs they drowned themselves in the night before. The entire base is deafeningly silent, as if in anticipation, awaiting the orders from above. Orders Eren has no interest in ever hearing. He slowly exhales, dispelling his nervousness, his fear. A soft wind caresses his hair as he gazes up into the sky then steps off into the empty air. Soon, very soon, his pain will end. The ground looms up toward him, and he hears a scream, "Eren!" before he cracks into the ground. He feels a flash of pain then descends into darkness.

* * *

Levi absently stared out the window at the empty courtyard below. Too many people had died in the last expedition and now there was a large void in leadership waiting to be resolved with the orders from above soon to arrive at the base. His gaze moves over and up the opposite tower in the base and observes a figure standing near the top perilously close to falling. The person in question would not be the first soldier to jump from there. Given the current circumstances, the figure would be within his rights to end it now. The figure jumped and as the person plummeted, Levi suddenly recognized him. He screamed, "Eren!" as the boy struck the ground.

Levi sprints down the stairs into the courtyard, his eyes quickly finding the crumpled form as he approaches it. He slows as he gets closer, fearing what he will find. The boy hadn't turned into a titan. But he sees steam begin to rise from the prone form, and he releases a breath. The powers are working. Eren isn't dead. Levi hesitates for a second debating whether it is safe to move him or not. His decision reached, he picked up the boy wincing at the heat radiating off of him. He carried Eren up the stairs into his room cradling him to his chest.

* * *

Eren awakens to pain and the smell of soap. His entire body ached. He lies half propped up against soft pillows. Someone is gently holding his hand, but his legs are oddly heavy. He tries to move them and the weight on his legs shifts and his hand is squeezed. However, his hand is then quickly dropped and the weight disappears. He then hears a voice, "Oy brat, so you're awake now?" He slowly opens his eyes blinking in the candlelight. He is in Levi's quarters. Eren takes in the bleach white, starched sheets covering his body and the man sitting beside his bed. Levi sits watching Eren with arms crossed. His uniform is wrinkled and his eyes are bloodshot and shadowed perhaps from lack of sleep, "How are you feeling?"

"How long have I been out?"

"About two days now, then you wake me up." Levi responded, and then quietly muttered under his breath, "And I finally fell asleep."

"It seems the weather is nice today."

Levi seemed to get more and more agitated as they talked, finally he shot up out of his chair, "What the fuck were you thinking jumping from there? What if you had changed? What if…"

Eren looked away and at the sheets, "I wouldn't have changed. I have tried everything from slashing my wrists to poison. I never succeeded, and I never changed form. Even the tower wasn't high enough…"

"How dare you? After all this time, you can't just…"

"Levi, everyone is gone. Armin, Mikasa, Hanji, Connie, Sasha, Jean they are all gone. The Survey Corps has been decimated. Even Erwin…" Eren's voice crescendos as he squeezes his eyes shut to hold back the tears.

Levi thunders, "Goddamnit, I am not losing you too. Not like this." His voice softens, "You're all I have left now." Eren feels Levi's fingers on his face as he brushes away the tears that escaped. Eren's eyes open and Levi's hand moves to stroke his hair as he looks down on him with a solemn expression.

Eren looks at Levi, "How do you do it sir? How do you live through this? Being the one that survived?" His eyes well up and he curls up, pulling up his knees to rest his head on as he squeezes his eyes shut. Levi sighs. Eren feels the weight on the bed shift and arms wrap around him.

Levi's voice softly whispers, "I don't know. I really don't."

His hands gently stroke Eren's back as the boy sobs, "I don't think I can do this anymore. I never even got to say goodbye. Thanks to these powers I slept through the funeral." Levi hugged the boy closer, Eren's head against his chest as he dissolved into tears and choked sobs, curling into Levi and clutching Levi's shirt in his hand. Levi continues to rub his back, softly murmuring to Eren, his words drowned out by the boy's sobs.

After a few minutes, Eren's sobbing subsides. He releases Levi's now crumpled and damp shirt and wipes away his tears. Levi gently kisses Eren's head and gets up off the bed, wiping at his face with his sleeve with his back to Eren before turning back towards the bed, "Go back to sleep, brat. I have food for you in the morning." Levi moves to leave.

"Stay... " Eren grabs Levi's wrist, nearly falling out of the bed to do so, Levi quickly grabs him saving him from the floor and pushes him back on the bed.

"Fine, Scoot over, brat." Eren shoots to the side and Levi climbs in behind him and pulls the sheets over both of them. He lies on his side facing Eren's back. Eren tries to turn over to face Levi, but he wraps one arm around Eren's waist and pulls Eren closer until his back is pressed against Levi's chest, Levi breathing against the back of his neck and head. Eren grabs onto the hand at his waist pulling it higher, wrapping both hands around it as he cradles it against his chest. Levi doesn't move his hand as Eren's breathing slows and he relaxes within the warmth and comfort of the Levi's arms.

As Eren slowly drifts off, he just barely hears Levi's soft whisper, "I don't know how I did it before, but now I have you." Eren's breathing becomes rhythmic and Levi begins to feel drowsy. He inhales in the boy's scent and feels his heart beat against his hand. It arouses a feeling Levi never wants to lose. He nuzzles into the boy's back as he slips away into sleep, holding the boy as close as he can. He hopes and pleads that he will be able to do this for years to come.


End file.
